How do you deal with a baby?
by CJcraziness
Summary: One-shots showing the reaction of some of the main ships and some others dealing with a young child. From Johnlock to MorMor and maybe other ships like Myrairty. Johnlock is first. MorMor is second. I'll update as soon as possible and will accept any prompt ships.
1. Johnlock

**No Silence in 221B**

John walked up to the door of 221B Baker Street after a rather stressful day at the surgery, it had been an extremely busy today and all he wanted to do was either curl up in Sherlock's arms or sit in front of the TV and nap. The second one was much less likely to happen unless Sherlock had been given a case and not told him about it. As he unlocked the door, he heard an unusual sound...

A baby crying.

At first he thought he imagined it as he had heard babies crying much of today. He just shook his head and made his way up the stairs slowly. When he neared the door to his flat, he heard the noise of crying again and he froze. He was not imaging things. Worry settled in his features before he burst into the room.

There on the floor, half wrapped in a blanket and surrounded by pillows was a black-haired and brown-eyed baby aged around six months. There was a baby carrier next to the baby. It was squirming about, throwing it's arms in the air and crying rather loudly now. John realised the door slamming open had probably caused this.

He scanned around the room for Sherlock, he was nowhere to be seen in the living room. He walked into the kitchen. There was Sherlock, hands over his ears waiting for something in the microwave to warm up. Sherlock seemed so focused on the microwave he had not noticed John had entered.

"What are you doing?" He questioned as he looked the taller man up and down. Taking in his pyjamas and blue dressing gown hanging off his thin frame; his hair was the usual curly mess and his sea green eyes and facial features were full of irritation. He didn't move or answer when John asked. He had not heard. John tapped him on the shoulder and he spun around on his heels. He lowered his hands but covered them again when the sound of the squealing child filled them again. John gaze went back to the child on the floor.

"What are you doing? Why is there a kid in the flat?" John said as he crossed his arms.

Sherlock understood. He showed a small smile and shrugged. John's brow funnelled but he continued. "Whose kid is it?"

Sherlock finally answered. "I've forgot."

John's eyes widened. "How have you forgot who the hell the parents are?" He almost shouted but remembered the child did not like loud noises.

Sherlock shrugged again then turned to get something the object out of the microwave. It was a bottle of milk. He dipped his index finger in the milk to check the temperature, nodded and then walked over to the child. He dropped to his knees and put the bottle in its tiny hands. The baby took it and sipped for about a minute. Sherlock flopped onto the couch suddenly seeming exhausted.

"So..." John started watching the child intensively from his chair. "Who is he?"

"Nathaniel." Sherlock mumbled into the couch. He turned his head slightly to look at John; looking him over and deducing how his day had gone. He rolled his eyes and smiled for a second. John was to fixed on the small child on the floor to detect it. For about three minutes the flat of 221B was deadly quiet, the only sound was the child sipping away at the bottle. However, when the child finished it's milk...

The room erupted into chaos once more. The baby threw the bottle, with surprising strength for a six month old, it hit a shack of books which promptly were knocked all over the floor. The deafening crash the books made caused the baby to scream once again. Sherlock sat up suddenly, training his annoyed gaze on John.

He growled and shouted. "Will you turn it off?"

"Excuse me? Turn off what?" He looked perplexed but Sherlock's glare turned onto the child. "The kid?"

"Yes!" He exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air dramatically.

"It's a baby. You can't turn off a baby, Sherlock." John mused half-chuckling.

"John! Do something! I've tried... Everything!"

"Sure you have." John got up and went to go pick the child up. Sherlock still glared at the child with hands over his ears once more. John picked up the petite baby, wrapping the blanket around it properly. He cradled it in his arms and hushed it. The baby still cried but quietened just a little. John sat in his chair, now rocking the baby in his arms but still hushing it. He stroked over the Nathaniel's dark hair with his thumb and the baby squirmed. He stopped and the child cried louder again, so he continued stroking. The child burst into laughter, it seemed to either enjoy or tickle the small child. He smiled as the child smiled and giggled.

"See. You didn't try everything, Sherlock." He chuckled. Sherlock frowned as if he was aggravated he had been wrong. He huffed out a breathe and stormed off to their bedroom. John laughed along with the baby but soon the child yawned and stopped giggling. He looked down at the small human in his arms and rocked it side to side. It's eyes drooped and it blinked slowly. Gradually Nathaniel drifted off to sleep and he placed in back on the pillows on the floor.

"Sweet dreams, little Nathaniel" He whispered.

For a second time, the flat was strangely silent. Even the child's breathing was soundless. He crept away to find Sherlock also half asleep on their bed. His head of curly hair hidden under the pillows. John sat down next to him, hand stoking up and down his back. Sherlock hummed but didn't move.

"See... He's fast asleep now." John stated the obvious.

"Yeah... I can hear that." Sherlock rumbled, barely audible.

"Now. Are you going to tell me whose kid he is?" John's voice turned slightly sharp.

Sherlock shifted. "Ermm..."

"You can't have forgotten, Sherlock. You can't have deleted it either."

"Well..."

"Sherlock!" John warned. He yanked Sherlock to sit up next to him.

"He was left after you went to work. I was in my mind palace, I was nudged out of it but the person left before I saw them. There was a note but I forgot what it said."

"Is that how you know his name is Nathaniel? Strange name that."

"Nope. Nametag in clothes."

"Oh, right. Where is this note?"

"Kitchen."

"Right." John got up and searched the kitchen, finding a note stuck on the fridge with a pocket knife.

It read:

_Hey Sherlock,_

_As surprising as this is, I need someone to look after my son. I know you have forgotten I have a child but I reminded you two weeks ago. You also agreed when I asked if you could look after him you would. I text you remember? So, you are babysitting for me today. Mycroft is away. I am busy all day and I don't want to use a nanny. They're just weird to me. _

_This is Nathaniel (Nathan). You are looking after him until I get back later. Don't tell Mycroft as I'll be killed. NO EXPERIMENTS WHILE NATHAN IS THERE! And his things are in the baby carrier._

_Thanks,_

_Greg Lestrade_

"Your brother and Greg have a son?" John questioned, eyes wide and mouth open. "Why did no one tell me?"

"Mycroft is secretive. Greg probably thought you already knew. I forgot." He shrugged again.

"But he is about six months old and neither of them have mentioned it. That's not right. Greg's a friend! Mycroft is your brother!"

"And? Why should I care if Mycroft has a child?"

"Because... Seriously? He's your brother. That kid is your nephew!"

"Oh well. I've done my part. I looked after him for today. Never again." He huffed and buried himself further into the pillow.

"Right. I'm having words with Greg."

"It was probably Mycroft's doing. Ignore it." He muffled to the pillow.

At this moment there was a knock on the door and the door of flat opened. Someone then swiftly strode into the flat. John wandered into the kitchen and spied Greg standing over Nathaniel with a big grin on his face. He turned to see John, he looked exhausted with his clothes crumpled and his salt and pepper hair messy from his hand running through it far too many times. His face was lined with now easing worry but his brown eyes shone as did his smile as he watched his slumbering son.

"Well... Greg." John started.

"How did Sherlock manage to keep him quiet? Mycroft can hardly manage it..." He whispered and bit his lip suppressing laughter.

"He didn't. I did." John said.

"Oh, should've guessed. Thank you, John." He slapped his back in a friendly gesture.

"Why didn't I know about him?" John said turning serious.

"Wait? What...?" Greg looked confused.

"No one told me. I only found out due to your note."

Greg run his hand through his hair. "Oh..." He shifted on the spot while biting his lip again. "I thought you did. I told Sherlock ages ago but he keeps forgetting. That's why I've been off a lot, Nathan's not been feeling very well. Poor kid. Mycroft didn't tell anyone. Not really even telling his mother. He's been like very guarded and paranoid about it. So, not many people know. I'm sorry you didn't know, John."

"Well I know now. And unlike Sherlock, I don't mind babysitting. He seemed to like me." John smiled after having a good enough explanation.

"That's good. Let's get the little bugger home then." He crouched down to pick the sleeping baby up and the baby carrier next to him. Nathaniel stirred and seemed to grin on recognising his father. "Hey little Nathan. Papa's here." The baby squirmed but grinned again. Sherlock sauntered in at this point and the baby stared at Sherlock with his big brown eyes, evidently inherited off Greg. Sherlock glared back at the baby but said nothing.

"Thanks you two for looking after him. I beg of you not to tell Mycroft. Not offence Sherlock but he doesn't trust the flat as a safe environment..."

"He doesn't trust me at all." Sherlock cut in.

"Not true. But he wants nannies and people like that looking after Nathan. I don't. Much rather trust you two. Friends and family and all that. Anyway, thanks again. I owe you something. I'll find you an interesting case, Sherlock. And John, I owe you a pint."

"Thanks Greg." John beamed. Sherlock said nothing, huffed out a breathe and looked away. "Sherlock thanks you too. Bye now."

"Wave bye bye, Nathan." And the baby looked at his father and seemed like he was trying to process the words. Greg waved and Nathaniel seemed to try to mimic himself.

John waved back as they walked out the door.

* * *

Not sure where that has come from, probably from reading fics with them being parents. I just think it's cute. Anyway, I am planning to do more then this one. Some of the more popular ships and maybe some others. MorMor is likely to come up next.


	2. MorMor

**Beware of the Bad Man**

Sebastian opened the door and shut it quietly. It was late and he was arriving home from a hit, a simple and boring one but he had waited hours on a rooftop to get the clear enough shot. He crept into the flat. He did not want to startle or aggravate Jim especially if he was in the middle of a business call, in which ninety percent of the time he was. He wandered into the main room of the flat they shared and saw a peculiar and strange sight before him... even strange for Jim Moriarty which was beyond worrying.

Jim Moriarty 'The Consulting Criminal' was sat on the edge of their leather couch in his immaculate navy suit, dark sunglasses and a beanie hat. This was not the unusual thing as Jim regularly wore sunglasses inside but the beanie hat was new. Yet, Sebastian continued to stare at the couch as there was another occupant. This occupant being a three year old girl clothed in a pink dress and pink shoes who was staring intently at the flat screen TV. Neither Jim or the little girl seemed to notice that Sebastian was there. And so he thought he would make his presence known as he placed down his work bag and cleared his throat.

"Jim. There is a kid on the sofa." He stated for no reason other to get their attention.

"Well done, Seb. I'm glad you have a sharp eye. It is required for the job after all." Jim replied sarcastically, not moving his gaze from the TV.

"Yeah, yeah. Very funny. Why is there a girl on the sofa?"

"Because she is watching James Bond." Jim replied before both him and the girl erupted in a fit of giggles as someone was pushed off a building and simultaneously fell to their death. Of course Jim Moriarty would find a child who was abnormal, finding death funny. Sebastian rolled his eyes.

"I see that. Can we speak in private, Jim?" He pointed to their bedroom. Jim got up and the little girl turned to Jim.

"Mister Jimmy, where you going? Don't leave. What'f bad man comes?" She squealed at the thought of Jim leaving her sight.

"It's okay, Libby. I'm just going to talk to this man here." He looked over his shoulder to Sebastian as indication and spoke in a slow childlike voice in hope she may understand him better.

"He isn't bad man. Is he?" She said shyly.

"No. No, he's not. He's a good man. He can protect us from the bad man." He smiled a sly smile, but the little girl wouldn't be able to comprehend that it had malicious intent. She just took it as a good sign and beamed back.

Jim and Sebastian walked into their room, shutting the door quietly behind him. "How was the hit, dear?" Jim asked his tone turning slightly business-like.

"Good. Boring. Fine."

"Good." Jim looked at his nails as he waited for Sebastian to ask his long awaited question.

"Who and why is there a kid watching our TV?"

Jim grinned. "Blackmail. Kidnapped her. She'll be out our hair in a couple of hours. Need ransom payment and she will be gone."

"Right... You hate kids and you have not killed her yet. Bravo, Jim."

"I know. My patience is wearing thin... but she believes my every word so it could be worse..." He was interrupted by a light knock at the door and a tiny squeak of a voice.

"Mister Jimmy? Mister Jimmy? I'm hungry."

"One minute dear." He called out in the sweetest and most gentle voice Sebastian had ever heard from the manic man. Sebastian raised his eyebrows at this, Jim noticed.

"What?" He hissed.

"Jim Moriarty 'The Consulting Criminal' being nice... To a kid. It's a sight to be seen." He smirked as Jim's eyes narrowed.

"She is just a job, I need to be nice or she will suspect something."

"Yeah, yeah. Of course, she'll think you're the bad man."

"Exactly!"

"That's because you are, Mister Jimmy." He mimicked the child's voice.

"Shut up, Sebastian." He turned and stomped off to tend to the young child's appetite. Sebastian walked back into the main room and saw Jim and the girl in the kitchen. She was sitting on the side of the counter with her arms crossed as Jim attempted to find something she would like to eat. Jim was pulling out random foods and asking if she wanted it. However, she kept shaking her head as well as pouting in a overdramatic childlike fashion. Jim sighed loudly as he pulled out yogurt and soup from the fridge, the last items in the fridge. She stared at them and before he even asked, she shook her head again.

"What do you want to eat, dear?" He asked, irritation clearly slipping into his voice as he spat 'dear'. Sebastian leant on the door frame watching the ridiculous scene play in front of him.

"I want ice cream! No, want cookies!" She demanded.

"We don't have ice cream, Libby. I don't think we have cookies either."

"But I want cookies! I hungry."

"We don't have cookies." Jim fought himself to stay in control and not shout at the child.

"Why don't have cookies? Mummy has cookies in cookie jar." She stated as if that was a reason all households should have them.

"But we don't have cookies in our house. You will have to eat something else."

"Awwww. Ice cream. Want ice cream!" She moaned. Jim glared at the child with malice, obvious he had had enough of these games. He leant down so his lips were near the little girl's ear and whispered in a voice that was both feral and harsh.

"We do not have ice cream, you little bit..." Before he could finish, he was jerked backwards as Sebastian pulled him to one side. The Consulting Criminal stared at his partner with spite. "I've had it up to here..." He murmured as he demonstrated the action, "With this stupid, ignorant demon of a child."

Sebastian chuckled and nodded. "Never have kids, Jim."

"I didn't think we would be anyway. I hope you wasn't planning on it." He mused before his vicious side reappeared. "I want to kill her but this dull job won't let me!"

"Go sort out getting this job done and I'll look after the little squirt instead. The quicker the job's done, the quicker she's gone, right?" He said before smiling and adding, "We can have time just for me and you."

"I guess so. I cannot stand being around it anymore." He silently screamed as he pulled out his phone and exited the kitchen. He turned to see the pink dressed girl swinging her legs and the look of innocent confusion on her face.

"Where's Mister Jimmy gone?" She questioned.

'He's gone away as you annoyed him ' is what Sebastian's mind thought but he contemplated an answer fit for the child and said: "Mister Jimmy is making sure the bad man is away so you can go home." He adopted a more child friendly tone and found he couldn't stand his voice sounding sweet and childish.

The young girl let out a squeal of joy at the idea of going home but soon settled and stared at Sebastian with suspicion. She cocked her head to the side. "Who are you?"

Sebastian frowned, unsure how to answer. He remembered how Jim was 'Mister Jimmy', no last names and so decided on a name himself.

"I'm Mister S. I'm here to look after you." He fake smiled and the child seemed to be at ease.

"I'm hungry, Mister S." She started to moaned again. Sebastian rolled his eyes before looking through the cupboards and finding chocolate. It was Jim and Sebastian's favour make from a particular chocolatier in Belgium. It was rather expensive chocolate and Sebastian didn't want to waste it on the annoying child but circumstances seemed it may be the best idea.

"Do you like chocolate, kid?"

"Choco? I do!" She screeched as a large grin grew on her face. "I love choco-late!"

"Wonderful. We have some very nice 'choco' and you can have some if you are good." He held a chocolate in front of her just in reach. She went to grab it but he pulled it away and she looked like she was about to cry.

"Ah, ah. Will you be good?"

"I will."

"Good." He passed her the chocolate and he ate it happily. He picked up the box and walked into the front room hoping they would just sit watching the TV again. He waited for the girl to come into the room but she didn't.

"Mr S? I can't get down." Sebastian rolled his eyes, how had he not realised that? He picked her up and carried her back to the couch. She sat happily on the couch, grabbing each chocolate that was put in front of her. She stared at the TV once more which was still playing a James Bond film. It was the showdown between the villain and hero and the little girl giggled once again as the villain was killed. Sebastian eyed her wearily, she was such a strange child. She was passed another chocolate and grinned as she devoured it. Libby became disinterested with the film and chocolate and looked around the room, her small curious eyes focused on the black bag Sebastian had brought with him when entering the flat.

"What's that?" She asked and pointed to the bag. Sebastian's widened slightly.

"Just a bag." The sniper said edgily.

"What's init', Mister S?" She continued.

"Work stuff." It was actually true, a sniper rifle was his work equipment.

She cocked her head to the side. "Why 'work stuff'?"

Sebastian frowned, she was a persistent one. "Just because." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Why?" She grew even the more curious at the vague answer and pushed herself off the couch and toddled over to the black bag. She reached out to open it.

The sniper jumped up and picked up the child. "Ah, ah. My work stuff. Not for kiddies."

"But... but... I want't know." The little girl pouted and looked as if she was going to cry...

Thankfully, Jim walked it that moment, throwing his hands in the air and almost shouting. "You can go home now, Libby."

Sebastian exhaled deeply, 'thank god', the child had been so close to messing with his work equipment.

"No more bad man?" She queried.

"No, my dear little Libby." Jim said, ruffling a hand over her blonde locks of hair.

"Yay. I see Mummy now."

"Yes. Yes you do."

"Yay!" She shouted cheerfully as she grabbed Jim's hand and tugged him towards the door. "Come on, Mister Jimmy. No more bad man! We safe! Come on."

"If only you were, my dear." Jim muffled under his breath as he was led to the door. "See you later, Seb darling." He said as he was dragged by the three year old out the door.

* * *

It doesn't have a great ending, I will admit it is not good... at all. Oh well. Either way, If I can remember the ending I originally wanted then I will rewrite it, but for now it will stay as it is as I forgot the ending I have thought up first. Hope it was acceptable. Mythea, Mystrade or Myriarty next. One of those three. probably Mythea ( Just anything with Mycroft, of course) as I have a idea for that one. Thanks for reading.


End file.
